My confession before the year ends..

CONFESSION TIME!

Looking back the previous things I've written in this blogspot for like a year almost 2 years..
It's weird reading back what you wrote before..
I mean its like...
reading a diary that some are long forgotten
and looking back at it feels nostalgia..
those cheerful and hurtful moments...
Make me realize that I've gone through hell lot of it..
I'm grateful to it..

No matter it comes from the matter of friendship to love to studies
I guess it all comes to the same answer...
"Life makes you grow!"
Me grown from a naive girl to a Rebellious want and to a Girl  who is turning 19 soon..
(I haven't written anything how I feel when I was 18..lolx~)

A lot of weird things happen in the same time..
1st thing..

family reunion 

Singapore vsMalaysia vs Australia


Singapore was like meeting my own sister and vising her campus etc..
that was really fun..
thanks che..
for spending and wasting ur money on me to tour me around... 









Malaysia is I finally meet my mum's side relatives..
I think it's been like 4 years I haven't meet them and it was just a WOW thing for me
as all of us have grown up and change a lot..
It was nice meeting you guys!
(especially chiang2..miss u a lot!)







while Australia is GREAT!
couldn't been better!
haven't meet a lot of nephew and nieces..
good experience..

2nd thing...
My health
Seems to go up and down..
I've been through an oral surgery this year..
for my braces..

(and a lot of kutuk-ing from the dentist for not taking care my braces well)








a lot of bruises on my leg and knee from the sports I'm dealing with..
(no regrets although I know I'm going to be a WOMAN soon..)


3rd thing...
My option in studying..
followed my sister steps instead of following my brother's want..
which form6 is really not a joke..
though they always say Art subject were always much easier..
Now I really have to doubt..



















I would sincerely like to apologize to my tuition teacher Mr Tan
(have not been a good student but I will make up this 2010)


4th thing...
My circle of friends
From my primary/tuition friends till high school and also my form6 life..
(my extreme friends& teleforce collegue)

Meet new people..make new friends with people...
It's just get bigger and bigger don't they?
although those I've studied with them in high school almost half of them are missing
but meeting new wants that really makes your life reach a whole new level..
I even get to meet 2 new best friends! (both malays 1 guy n 1 gurl)

5th thing...
my love life
Weird part is
I still love and care for my ex
who has always been there for me all the time
(I dunno how to thank him for that)
 










Fun part is
Someone new just happen to be in my life...
Although both of us have already developed the 'more than friend' thing
But the sad part is..
I'm not going to accept a new relationship soon...
Let's see if this new dude can wait for another year..

6th thing..
I got some stuff

• Got my driving license

• change my IC

• Got a debit card under my name
  

• Nokia5320 express music

• Peruda Kancil 1997 (2nd hand)

• Amp for my elec guitar

• Stainless steal pendrive 4g

•  hats and caps
  

• etc...
  

Last but not least

My inner self

I know I have been a very bad girl this year..
Didn't really follow the vegetarian diet strictly enough..

Been ponteng-ing tuition and school (for braces)
Tell some white lies..
might and might not help some people..
heaps of UPs and DOWNs..
keep fighting and struggling inside...

In the end..

I need to go for a super mighty big REVOLUTION!

Happy new year!

(sorry to those I've hurt ur feelings or ur pride...)

where to countdown?

as we all know alor star..(aka my hometown)
is such a cute and tiny little town you see...
and also facing some problems of social crap thing..
does anyone have a suggestion where to count down??

heaps of stuff to say...

actually..
I've been a lil bit reluctant to type certain things about my 2 and a half weeks in Melbourne..
Course I find it hard to say certain things on the net..
as well as what was going on the inner side of me...
there is heaps of things for me to write down..
Yet I choose not too..

Maybe course I'm just plainly lazy to write
(after not touching the net for quite awhile)
or rather there is nothing to say..

Anyhow,
it was fun..
And got to learn their culture..
the "Mat Salleh' culture..which is far more open and wider than the chinese want
where it is more conservative as you may put that on words...
lolx~

okay..didn't know it is this hard...

Packing list to go there!

1. singlets
2. personal things 
3. swimming suit
4. jacket
5. make up
   
6. hat/cap
7. toothbrush
8. shorts
   
9. diary
10. presents
    
11. slippers
12. hand phone
    
13. visa
14. passport
15. skate board
    
16. charger
17. camera
18. etc..
19. wat else do I need to pack?
20. Didn't know it's hard to pack sometimes
    

to someone...

I dunno why I had this bad feeling after coming back from Shah Alam..
even though I did enjoy myself at the sk8 clinic
last minute register
got myself a certificate and a cute small towel..

Then later that afternoon.
I was chilling with my other sk8 friends where suddenly...
out of nowhere...
I saw someone damm familiar..
yet I couldn't recalled the person because the way of dressing was way too different...
thank god I could recognize the 'SPECIAL T-shirt' and also that hair colour of yours..
IT WAS YOU...
suddenly just pop by and say hello for awhile..
I was shocked and speechless where I never expected you to be here..
I was happy and excited...
but I tried to suppress it..
Didn't want people to notice it especially you...
though I could never hear nor feel how you feel..
But I feel content..
that you came over...
although I don't really know your last minute business as well..

I know that we have some difficulties to express certain things
as every movement we are doing...
People were watching...
Both of us knew that we couldn't do a lot of things like any normal people will do..
yet,
seeing you was just all I need to know that
you were okay...
you were alright..
seeing you yesterday was like lifting a big burden to me..
all my worries that I have for you when I was in other place just forgotten..
Looking you straight into the eyes makes my body weak...
as usual..
you never really know..
because you were just a best friend..
and both of us know about it..
It's hard to be together..
yet hard to be apart from each other...

I thought of meeting up with you..
but you had your "WORK" which I know it more than anyone else...
So my other friends came over instead to keep up what's going on in my life..
I didn't know why you reacted that way,
but you didn't seem happy and also say a few things that you will never say to me...
I was again left shocked and speechless with your weird attitude..
but I tried not to think so much..
and left it in my heart and sink it in the deepest core of my heart..
because...
you weren't mine...
I belong to me...
but it really hurts those heartbreaking words you said to me..

This morning..
I didn't know why I let myself sleep into a sleepless dream..
couldn't remember nor recalled...
I didn't know why I panicked and called you like your usual morning time..
at 1st, I couldn't get through you...
but later you message me apologizing to me that you didn't reply my message etc...
I called you straight away!
just to get the bad news about something I never though you will leave on this morning itself...
Which was so f**ing last minute...
and again another burden was added...
You make me start worrying you all over again..

I dunno what you were thinking but seriously...
you really break my heart..
I remember saying 'okay..chat later..bye..'
I tried to sink into my mind what you have just told me..
and tears start to roll down that quickly..
it's been awhile I've cried for someone like you that easily...
and almost an hour le! sial!

I remember through sms and the whole conversation..
'lebih kepada maki daripada cakap...'
I was so shitly piss off!
I couldn't believe that you of all people have to do this to me...
At 1st, I seriously didn't want to hear all those crap reasons you gave me
for not telling me earlier etc..
While me was giving me a piece of my mind of those weird actions you gave me etc..
But soon after I've calm my nerves down...
It was time to say goodbye..
you sms me saying things I never thought it will be true..
In the end..
you went to the airport and left..
The only thing I could do is..
pray for you..
wait for you..
and keep special words in my heart..
left unspoken...

bruises

after having an effing day at the roller skate ring at sg wang..
which a lot of ah lians or ah beng or lala people hang out
finally I meet someone who spoil my really shit mood..
was in a good mood, even though I fall like more than twice..
there was this time I fall right into a group of people who were...
SHUFFLING at the edge of a corner...
damm! It sucks cuz I fall right onto my knees...
have some pretty big bruise though.
okay lo, wanted to apologize to that group of people
BUTTTT!!!!!!!
after I looked up and before I could even open my mouth and apologize..
this stupid bimbo lala gurl just shoot me one shit word..
"WALAO EI!"
with an annoying muka of hers and shit expression
then only I realize she was the only girl in that girl...
no wonder la...
want attention from those shit looking guys kot..
There was this guy who offered to help me up..
I say 'NO WAY!'
whatever, I get back up with my head held high!
but it hurts like hell
and went to chill with my best friend cousin aka OGC...
Complain the shit hell of me..
haha XD
but thanks again dude..
for bringing me around..
haha XD