An extreme living dream

2011-03-09T21:35:00.000+08:00

1. Touch her waist.

1. 搂她的腰

2. Actually talk to her.

2. 跟她真正的谈话

3. Share secrets with her.

3. 和她分享秘密

4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts

4. 给她一件你的衬衫

5. Kiss her slowly.

5. 温柔地亲她

6. Hug her.

6.和她拥抱

7. Hold her.

7. 抱住她

8. Laugh with her.

8. 和她一起笑

9. Invite her everywhere.

9. 带她去你去的地方

10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

10. 和朋友们出去玩的时候也带上她

11. Smile with her.

11. 和她一起微笑

12. Take pictures with her.

12. 和她合影

13. Pull her onto your lap.

13. 让她坐在你的膝上

14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.

14. 当她说她爱你多一些的时候，告诉她你爱她更多

15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.

15. 当她的朋友说ta爱她比你多的时候，要说不对，然后紧紧抱住她，使她不能到朋友身边。这让她感到被爱

16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.

16. 见到她的时候，总是拥抱她，对她说Hi

17. Kiss her unexpectedly.

17. 在意料不到的时候亲她

18. Hug her from behind around the waist.

18. 从后面抱住她的腰

19. Tell her she's beautiful.

19. 告诉她她很漂亮

20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

20. 实话实说告诉她你对她的感觉

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (if any)- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.

21. 为她开门，陪她走到车边（如果有的话）——这让她有安全感，再说了，有点绅士风度也不收你钱

22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.

22. 当你真的这么想的时候，告诉她她是你的一切

23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her.

23. 如果她看起来有心事，问问她——如果她说没有，说明她不想谈！！！！——所以给她一个拥抱

24. Make her feel loved.

24. 让她感到你是爱她的

25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know

25. 在你的异性朋友面前亲她

26. DON'T lie to her

26. 不要对她说谎！！

27. DON'T cheat on her!

27. 别脚踏两只船！！

28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants

28. 带她去任何她想去的地方

29. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.

29. 每天早上给她发短信或是打电话，告诉她今天要好好的，还要告诉她你有多想她

30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.

30. 无论什么时候，都陪伴在她身边，让她知道她永远可以依赖你

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.

31. 很冷的时候抱紧她，因为这样她也可以抱紧你

32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.

32. 独处的时候，抱紧她，吻她

33. Kiss her on the CHEEK: (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

33. 吻她的脸颊（告诉她你想吻她了）

34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.

34. 看电影的时候，把她搂在怀里，这样她就会自己把头放在你的肩膀上，然后请你微微抬起她的脸颊，然后轻轻地亲她

35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her.

35. 永远不要让她离开，不管你是开玩笑还是真的生气了。如果她不高兴了，请安慰她

36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.

36. (不知道Diss什么意思！所以我就胡扯了啊)当人们开她玩笑，嘲笑她的时候，要替她说话

37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.

37. 凝望她的眼睛，告诉她你爱她

38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle.

38. 在星空下躺下，让她把头放在你的胸口，这样你就可以搂住她

39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.

39. 和她说话的时候，握住她的手

40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible

40. 和她拥抱的时候，抱的越长越好

41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS

41. 每晚都要给她打电话或发短信祝好梦

42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

42. 当她哭泣的时候，安慰她，为她拭去泪水

43. Take her for LONG walks at night.

43. 晚上和她出去散步，走很长时间

44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her.

44. 总是提醒她你有多爱她

45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her.

45. 坐在她后面一排，告诉她你多爱她，然后弯下腰吻她

46. Rub her back--feels good

46. 用手摩挲她的后背——感觉很好

47. Give her your coat if she's cold--thats always cute

47. 她冷的时候给她你的外衣——总是感觉很贴心

48. Write letters on her back with your finger--feels good ;D

48. 用手指在她后背写字——感觉很好

49. Let her sit on your lap

49. 让她坐在你膝上

50. DON'T poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.

50. 别戳得太狠...但是想和她开玩笑的时候就轻轻地戳她：D

51. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC.

51. 在公共场合下握住她的手

52. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she's BEAUTIFUL

52. 告诉她她有多美——即使有一天她看起来不咋的

53. Keep conversations flowing...talk about anything usually they just go along with it.

53. 让你们的对话一直延续下去...她会和你一直说下去

54. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionatley and gently.

54. 如果她的头发遮住了脸，拂开头发然后温柔又不失激情地吻她

55. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind--loves it.

55. 悄悄到她身边然后从背后抱住她——最爱

56. Kiss her in the rain.

56. 在雨中吻她

57. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her.

57. 把她像电影the Notebook里那样抱起来然后吻她

58. Slow dance with no music

58. 和她慢慢地跳舞...不用音乐

59. Don't ignore her or be nerveous around her--everything is going to be okay.

59. 不要忽视她，不要紧张，在她身边，一切都会好起来

60. Love her, kiss her, hold her, and you'll be good to go.

60. 爱她，吻她，抱住她，这样一切都会解决

我不是處女，你还会爱我嗎? (a touching story...)

2011-03-08T08:13:00.000+08:00

在一個偏僻的山村里~有這樣一對姐妹~倆姐妹從小感情就很好~在她姐姐考大學那年~由於學習緊張~所以晚上還要去上課~那晚~她對妹妹說~我去上課走了~ 妹妹說~早點回來~路上小心~時間一分一秒的過去~妹妹估麼著姐姐應該回來了~怎麼還不回來~妹妹是左盼右盼`就是等不到姐姐的歸來~她等的有點不耐煩了~ 就把她父母叫起來`

他們一家人就去找姐姐~找變了村的所有地方~可是~就是找不到姐姐的踪影~一家人~神情有的慌亂~擔心~焦急~最後在村邊的一個小樹林裡找到了姐姐~她~當時昏睡在那~父母看到~十分驚訝~因為姐姐~衣衫不整~的躺在那~一動不動~妹妹當時就昏過去了~

第二天`當妹妹醒來的時候~她知道~姐姐昨天~昨天被人強奸了~妹妹當時就沉沒了好久~一直不吭`父母對妹妹說；這件事~不要說出去~因為~這關係到你姐姐的將來~和以後的人生~妹妹無語~~時間一天一天的過去~姐姐跟妹妹都張大了~那件事`也只有~他們一家人知道~那也是他們家的陰影~父母一直琢磨著~ 給姐姐找個對象~

終於有一天~姐姐找到了一個合適的對象~姐姐跟她對象~接觸的十分愉快~那時候的姐姐似乎忘了~自己已經不是處女~自己好像是公主一樣~有王子的陪伴~是天下最`最`最幸福的女孩~那男孩也十分的喜歡姐姐~對她是百依百順~妹妹看了也十分的欣慰~心裡默默的祈禱~希望姐姐是找到了自己的好歸宿~讓姐姐的生活永遠像現在一樣~像生活在天堂裡的天使一樣~永遠過著~幸福~安康~平定的生活~妹妹是這樣祈禱的~

可是~事事都不進人意~就在姐姐跟姐夫就要訂婚的時候~姐姐告訴了~她不是處女~在小時候讓別人強奸了~姐夫~愕然了~過了一會~等那男孩反應過來的時候~ 對女孩說；我不能接受你~我們~我們還是散了把~就算我能接受你~我家人也~也未必能接受這個殘酷的事實~女孩什麼也沒說~就走了~回到家~妹妹看到姐姐心情低落~就問什麼事~姐姐說沒事`睡吧~你明天還要去上學呢~妹妹就沒在問~

第二天~當妹妹放學回到家的時候~看到父母在哭泣~回到屋~看到姐姐穿著潔白的婚紗躺在床上~當時妹妹就傻了~桌上放著安眠藥的空瓶子~當時妹妹~眼淚就落了下來~大聲的說~你為什麼這麼傻`為什麼拋下我~哭的泣不成聲~昏到了三四次~醒了在哭~父母也跟著在那哭泣~父親大聲喊到~天啊~我上輩子到是做了什麼孽啊~你醬這樣對我~還有我的家人`

他們一家人把姐姐的喪事給辦了以後~發現姐姐有一封信~是留給妹妹的~信中是這樣說的~妹妹；原諒姐姐~因為我實在是承受不住現實對我的打擊~我把我不是處女的事給你姐夫說了~他說；他不能接受這樣的事實~他家人也不能~因為他們不能接受我這個不是黃花大閨女的事實~妹妹~原諒我`以後你要好好的照顧父母~ 不要忘了`你對我的承諾~我只有穿上我著潔白的婚紗~帶著有污點身子`去天堂找一個能夠接受我的人`原諒我這個傻姐姐~~~~~~ ！！

看了那封信~妹妹當時就恨下心來`完成她對姐姐承諾~那就是上大學~真是光陰似濺~日見如梭`妹妹~果然完成了她對姐姐的承諾~靠上了大學~在靠上大學的那天~她去姐姐的墳上~哭泣的對姐姐說~姐；我完成了對你的承諾了~我要用我的方式`去找男朋友~你要是在天有靈`你看著妹妹我~我是怎麼樣用你的方式去找男朋友的~在大學生活裡~妹妹她~~~真是女大十八變~她邊成了一個亭亭玉利~非常標誌的女孩~往往這樣的女孩~是不乏男孩追的~因為那都是男孩心中的理想對象~

每當他跟一個男孩交往一段時間以後~就對男孩說~我不是處女~你要我嗎~而~每個男孩的地一反應都是~驚訝~愕然~的呆在那裡~女孩每當看到這樣的情況就~頭也不會的走了~大學畢業的那年~她應徵到了一個網絡公司~在那裡面也不缺乏男孩追~因為~美女嘛~誰不愛~ 可是女孩一說；她不是處女的時候~男孩的第一表現~跟在學校的時候那些人的表現一樣~

那天~~公司來了個~高大~帥氣~有陽光氣味的男孩子~他在公司呆了沒多長時間就升職了~男孩在公司年輕有偉~又高大帥氣~有很多女孩對他頻頻釋愛~可是這男孩發現~就一女孩對他卻無動於衷~後來~他發現這女孩不緊有氣質`而且還衝滿了女人味~~！為什麼就沒人追呢~所以~他就對女孩展開了追求的公式~女孩看到這麼一帥哥追求自己~而且這個帥哥是公司上下的女孩心目中的王子~現在開始追求自己~我~我`我為什麼要拒絕呢~她跟那男孩交往了一段時間~那段時間她過的也十分的快樂~幾乎都忘了~自己要對男孩說的那句話~

後來~有一天~他跟那男孩在一起~女孩對那男的說；對不起~我隱瞞了你這麼長時間~我現在要對你說；~我不是處女~你要我嗎？那男的跟以前的那些男孩的反應一樣~驚訝~愕然~的呆在那裡~女孩就像跟往常一樣頭也不回的走了回到宿舍~女孩第一次為男孩流下眼淚~因為她真的是很愛那個男的`可是~可是`他怎麼跟以前的那些男的一樣呢~他可是在城市裡張大的~思想怎麼還~女孩一直在思考~眼淚一直在流~哭著哭著就睡著了~

事情過了一天兩天~他們在公司見面~就跟是陌生人一樣~在一個下著大雨的夜晚~女孩在咖啡館裡喝著咖啡~看著窗外的雨景~心情有點承重~想起了他~不一會~他看到了一個熟悉的身影~是他~就是他~他拿著鮮花~在大雨裡淋著~ 他大聲說；柔~我愛你~我愛的不是你的身體~而是你那潔白`而又純潔的靈魂~我考慮了這麼多天~就是在想~我怎麼能跟那些俗人一樣呢~我是生活在一個有文化的家庭裡~我的思想不能跟他們一樣~我不能束縛在傳統的思想社會裡~我應該破戒封建的思想~我~我~我知道錯了~原諒我~我……我愛你……嫁給我吧…… 女孩在也抵制不住自己的情緒~跑了出去~投在男孩的懷抱~

兩人相擁在雨裡~那時好像時間停頓在那一刻~彼此的安撫自己~那時候女孩對姐姐說；姐~我找到了自己的真愛~謝謝你~

就在他們兩人洞房的那夜~那男孩驚奇的發現~這女孩還是處女~就問為什麼~女孩完完全全的告訴了男孩~這男孩驚訝的說~你~你~你的做法是對的~我能娶你做老婆~真是積了八輩子的德~女孩欣慰的躺在男孩的懷裡傻笑著~她笑的是那麼的甜~那麼的幸福~~~~~！！！

2011-01-03T23:44:00.001+08:00

my words...my life..my story..
will update it soon~

2010-12-02T18:26:00.000+08:00

No title to write this time..
Dunno what kind of title is suitable to describe what I'm trying to write now..

U came into my life after I just had my sweet freedom..
I never could imagine myself to be so close to U
even with so much drama going on with my life..
U are just yourself...
relax...chill...happy go lucky etc...
In the end, something miracle happen..
I was quite happy etc...
but during the progress of knowing each other..
there is a lot of obstacle as well..
that make us know each other better...
but with some scratches as well..

I could still remember that U say that the 1st stage was
always sweet...curious...so the smsing...phone calling would non-stop..
but soon after the 1st stage of knowing each other have pass..
U got bored of it..
I remember 1 of our conversation that U r kinda bored of it...
I wonder u either say that u r bored of me because I keep on disappointing U...
or because my attitude is easier to grab?
while not like U..
no matter how straight forward U are..
U are still like a puzzle to me..
I still can't figure U out from my mind..
U r really not that kind of person who I could figure out..

Since U knew 1 of my dirty little secret..
I know that it is either gonna make it or break it..
at 1st U accept it..
the last conversation we had...
U make it very clear to me a lot of things..
I dunno whether I feel disappointed or not..
but, the more I think about it..
the more I feel guilty about it..
U r really a rare kind..
I couldn't ask for more..
yet.. I feel like I don't deserve U..

I'm having inner conflict like I always had..
I dunno what is running through my mind besides exam..
I wonder do U even remember those words U said to me...
but I guess..
it doesn't matter now..
because everything seems impossible now..

busy month

2010-12-02T17:53:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile I've touch my blog..
I know I've been busy preparing the 'WAR'
and also going through exams like I've been going through for
~~UPSR, PMR, SPM~~..and now the latest ~~STPM...~~
its really damn different from any of those public exam I've taken before..
this time..exams like shit..
freaking harder than trial..
I thought trial is easier..
but real stpm..cannot be spot nor what..
its just unpredictable..
lolx~

I know..I know..
my result sucks...
because I've never really work hard in my studies before..
is it because I'm lazy?
maybe..maybe I don't really have the interest in studying academic though..
haha XD

neway...
2more papers to goooooooooo.........
with the gap so long..
the waiting is killing me...
argh!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for my sweet freedom..
yeah!!!
holiday!
wait for me!
I've made a list what I would love to do though..
haha XD

my troublesome confession

2010-10-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

I never been this harsh before...
on someone who have been together with me for the last 3years...
I remember before leaving U..
all those promises I've made with u..
yet, I just throw it out..out from the window..
Now, I feel like I've become a devil instead..
no matter how hard U try to beg me..
woo me..
or even threaten me..
I don't react as much like I used too..
I felt like my feelings towards this kind of thing have make me gone numb...

It wasn't because a 3rd party came in my life that make me like this..
May be I decided to change everything drastically..
Just the sake of myself..
U never really know how many things I've done behind Ur back..
If only U knew..
I guess, u will just hate me for the rest of Ur life..
Because I remember 1 word u say that
'u will get everything what U've done to me..'
Of course..even Raja yoga says that karma will be like that..
I realize..yet..
I allow my devilish side of me to take over...
make me cold to you...
make me distance away myself from U..

say what U like..
all those cruel moments I had gave U~
there is just 1sole reason behind it..
I just want U to forget about us!
there is nothing I could do to turn back the clock anymore...
I don't really want to be the old me anymore..
I want to change!
I need to change!
For all the other reason..
U will never understand...

I only promise u that
if I really found a new guy in my life...
I would really2...
appreciated him...
love him..
will never do things behind his back..
won't keep everything in my heart..
be more honest with him..
I won't care what he do..
I just want a simple relationship..
etc...

that's the only promise for now..

what we do when trial is going on~

2010-10-10T00:43:00.001+08:00

Sorry for the very freaking slow update..
I didn't really have much time to even update so many events that
have been going on such as 'before and after Hari Raya'
and the list goes on and on...
Even though we are having the longest 3 weeks of our life's...
Yet, we still had a little of our fun ya see...
Some of us went a little crazy doing things in the class
when we were waiting for the next paper
that make us feel like we were waiting for our death penalty..
haha XD

just to shift our focus..
we did a lot of things beside studying and reading like hell in class..

example :

doing nerd poses..

before hair cut

after hair cut

Roqiah a.k.a my malay twin brought some mushroom soup and belanja us makan..
1 of the best...

two types of mushroon soup (1 of it is for me!)

snatching the bread..

scooping in people!!

eating jagung plak...

let's start working people!

(after being full with a boost of energy~)

When weekend is here..
A few of us
(almost 90% of my classmate, me,yanjo,yu xiu and angie)
went to this seminar PA thing that was held in Inspin near my Taman..
so Basically, it is all bout PA paper like how to answer..blah3...
but I didn't really like the speaker though...
at least the bahan he gave is quite worth it la...

Inside the hall

the speaker face & his watever crap stuff

ku,hanis n tikah S

Tikah f, roqiah n Me...

yu xiu and angie listening..

cikgu din(kelantan) teaching us~

Besides that..
if U have been feeling unlucky or so on..
and U wish to check how ur fortune goes?
here another example of my close friend a.k.a Yanjo
brought her set of tarot cards to school for us to find out the meaning behind
for those things that keep on happening to us~

kira-kira her 'luck'~

Even the last paper on Thrusday also...
my classmate could bring some keropok from their house
and share it among themselves to release tension etc...

other people busy studying

this group sibuk makan...

roqiah& nurul hanis

ku & tikah s

me studying on my own

so this is how crazy the whole month have been...

~~-the end-~~

charity for an old friend

2010-09-08T11:38:00.002+08:00

Last week..
I've receive a sms (middle of the night!) from my 'lovely' friend of my a.k.a Jimmy pig
saying that a friend father from primary school (chee hong) have pass away..
it means that he is an orphan now..
why say so?
because his mother have pass away since we were like..
9 years old??
so, I ajak a few primary school friends like tian chan.max.jimmy.ratikorn etc..
to pay him a visit and see his condition..
when we arrive..
his house?
OMG...
can have a heart attack!!
was in a terrible mess...
Its like someone who never stay in that house for how many years...

The dirty toilet.

the unclean kitchen..

the cabinet..

I decided that since most of us are free on Saturday..
we decided to do some clean up for him..
Like doing a charity for him..
I know that he would reject it 1st..
In the end..
I win..
so left me, vico, jimmy and roti who came over and help..

Before we went there..
Vico prepare lunch for us..
He prepared all by himself..

he preparing the table..

in the Amway ambassador house!

the lunch he made!

we were kinda touch..
even jimmy n roti were fighting who vico should marry etc..(it just a joke)
haha XD
As usual..
roti went to do the washing up..

while the rest of us were busy setting our hair etc...

vico doing his hair

me busy doing hair while both paparazzi

(p/s : jimmy has vry cute hair..haha XD)

We even turn in to TBS (small mini market)
to buy some gloves..mask etc before heading to his house..
after we arrive..

I change from this normal girl...

to super maid!

and so we start cleaning up the whole house..
I started by dusting everything while the rest start sorting out
things should be kept and things that aren't suppose to be there...
after that..

Me busy cleaning up the tempat sembahyang..
where his deity statue doesn't even look like one..

Khor was busy scarping the candle light thing
(pity him..he lost his pen knife after doing it so..)

Roti and Vico busy cleaning up the kitchen..

me in the kitchen

me & roti mask face

Chee hong helped out as well..

he did a lot of stuff...

1 of the picture..

we were finally through after 3~4 hours?
haha XD
it was worth helping him because
the house really looks more presentable than last time..
and he was very happy that some old friends were willing to come all the way down to his house
and help him every thing they could..

after picture

No matter where U are...
We will always be there to support U!
don't give up in life!
prove to yourself that U are an independent man!
good luck my friend!
and all the best to U!

(jimmy n chee hong)

a new friend...

2010-09-04T09:28:00.000+08:00

If it wasn't for him..
I wouldn't have meet such a wonderful lady...
All I can say that she is a unique person of her own...
1 of a kind lady who is

Modern..

fashionable..

Independent..

Tough..

Brave..

Friendly...

Talkative.. haha XD

etc..

She opens her own lil shop at City plaza
where she sells girls clothes,girls accessories,nail stuff...
oh..she also do nail art etc..
which is very nice of it

her nail art...

Everytime I hang out at her shop..
I get to do a lot of stuff inside..
I get to study (at her sofa)
I get to sembang with her n nora (her malay worker)
I get to experience the life as a sale assistant in a small shop..
I mean a lot of things I get to do when I'm in her shop..
Sometimes I help her take care of her shop when they need a lil break etc...
So its like killing two birds with 1 stone..
haha XD

neway,
so far,
when she has no customer..
She will do a lot of experiment on her friends..
benny always kena from her..
From make up, nail, hair etc...

She also gave me a few things like
with the picture below..

my air brush tatoo..

my nails paint green~

Thanks for being my friend..
We have a lot in common..
We even have the same horoscope!
The advice that U gave me are very useful..
I hope our friendship last forever!!!

smile =)

hugs xoxo

R.I.P camera...

2010-08-25T15:11:00.003+08:00

Dear camera...

U have done such a wonderful job for me when we are together...
for the past 2 years...
I could still remember the 1st time I look at U at the camera shop when I was form 5...
while accompanying my sister to buy as well..
I fell in love with U..
even though U r just a basic digital camera,
yet I could not stop looking and staring at U..
U can call me crazy..but it didn't matter..
I remember telling my dad that U r the 1 for me..
I even used up all my ang pau money just to buy u!

But I didn't regret..
because..

U help me and also a lot of people to take wonderful pictures!

U help me with my moral project..

U help my classmate and I to take wonderful pictures for our last year in Convent...
U help me take nice videos of extreme sports and pictures as well..

(even with my idol!)

U help me remember those nice memories I had with my cousin..

U help me take beautiful pictures when I travel around...

U have done so much service for baba as well..

But in the end...
It was my mistake that make u crash and fall out from my bag..
U fell so badly until the battery and memory card flung out from your body..
I was shocked and speechless...
I tried to save U...
Ran to the nearest camera shop...
but they didn't allow me too..
they say it's better to buy a new want rather than wasting Ur money..
I was devasted when I heard the news..
course U were still my 1st love..

A lot of people say 'it might be the time for U to upgrade',
they ask me to forget u..
even so..
I would never forget the service U have gave me...

the front..

the back

it's time to say good bye..
thank U for everything camera!
I hope U understand...
I would never forget what U have done for me!

xoxo
Ur owner...

a short reunion with ex band mates...

2010-08-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

I can't recall how long it has been since the last time I've meet them...
maybe last year yuna-chan birthday?

which is this picture??
haha XD

I can't believe that all of us have transform during this short period of time
almost 3 years...
and 3 of us look very different in these 3 years time..

nostalgia picture...

to this recent picture!

Even though we have stop playing for 2 years already..
but those bittersweet memories..
I will never forget them..

Afternoon...
We had a nice chat at old delight cafe..
Although I was a lil late that time..
but it didn't really matter,
because it was really our time to meet up..
talk crap n pour everything out towards each other..

although yuna-chan (aka leader) have always been the leader..
Yet,she always looks heaps younger than her real age..
working in GOV as a primary school teacher..
Because she is the senior 1 among us...
she is also 1 of the source where I will seek for some real life advice...
haha XD

while UCL
same school different class in CONVENT for the past 5 years...
same guitar teacher for the past 4 years...a.k.a Micheal Lee..
now studying at TARC penang..
well,she is just she!
getting more feminine every time I get a glimpse of her..
neway,congratulations girl!
u know what I mean right?
haha XD

me aka feNn leaf?
Still gila2...
always stuck here in this boring lil hometown of mine..
nothing much have change except my hair colour...(turn black now)
as usual..
been busy with studies...
and love life?
sucks.. and gets complicated each other..
(which they are not my main priority...)

ar...what are we doing??

update update!

2010-08-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

I have so many things to write..
yet I dunno where to start..
I know its been awhile I've write any bloody thing..
but U know,as a form6 student...
life...is always busy..
challenging in academic as well when u are in the so called 'High prestigious school..'
(p/s: which I kinda hate..)

Neway, it have been an exciting month only...
Not just my Australia 4th Uncle and Auntie are here to visit...
And also not just the 'Hungry Ghost' festival is here...
It also can't beat my favourite place to hang out where is the holy month for the Muslim
a.k.a bazar market where they sell all the delicious food...
I'm actually more excited to meet someone who is coming back from the South
not just to compete in his mountain bike competition at Langkawi..
And also having a short holiday
(which he extended because supernatural stuff happen to him)
My k-bro that I really respect of ...

Like what I promise him when we were emailing and messaging each other..
I will spend as much time as possible when I'm with him..
So, we really did a lot of stuff together..
as usual..
let the picture do the story telling!

Hanging out to bazar (he keeps on buying ayam percik nia...)

at his house eating dinner after coming back from bazar taman nuri~

makan breakfast at cowboy market..

buy crystal

halfway back his motor rosak...

He brought me back some gifts from Singapore~

he praying together with his mom at his taman...

in my house lepak..

City plaza (my friends shop&his friend shop)

he being the guinea pig on make up&dying hair..

Hang out with the thong2....

me bully by her have to wear pink bow...=_=

me&him before he left..

on the bus...

I know that he is having a hard time on his own..
and as usual there are a lot of opinions given to him for him to pick..
but in the end, its up to him to decide what he wants in life..
as a sister to U..
No matter what U choose..
I will always support..be ur ear when U need someone to listen..
and also be there for U..
and also always pray for the best for U..
May our friendship will last~

When there...

2010-07-27T18:30:00.000+08:00

When there is Faith, there is hope...

When there is Hope, there is life...

When there is Compassionate, there is love...

When there is Love. there is jealousy...

When there is Jealousy, there is hurt...

When there is Hurt. there is pain...

When there is Pain, there is scar...

When there is Scar, there is regret...

When there is Regret..

It will hunt U for the rest of Ur life!

(p/s: so please think before U act and never regret whatever happens in life!)

untitiled...

2010-07-20T20:14:00.000+08:00

as I see the dark sky starts to overshadow the sunny sun...
I knew that the time has come for it drop...
As drop and drops of rain started to fall...
I was protected in my room..
silently looking at it as it forms pearls shape that drop from the sky...

I remember when I was being hurt by the word of 'Love'
I could still remember those days like it was yesterday..
No matter how long it has been...
Those ~~scars~~ are still there...
some may not be as fresh like it was...
But the pain is hard to erase...

Looking at the rain makes me wonder
if things haven't really gone that way...
will those relationships last as they should?
Yet again..
everything happens for a reason..

sometimes...
I wish I could cry..
cry my whole heart out...
so that I won't have to be patient and bear the pain that U cause to me...
but there it is not worth it crying for a jerk like U...
So I held my feelings as hard as I could...

as one of my favourite japanese song play through my mp3...
'four seasons' by Namie Amuro...
I find it comforting towards my fragile heart...

"four seasons of love and laughter...

I will be alright being alone.."

I can taste the sweetness of the past..
no matter how much I would love to forget it...

far well my friend!

2010-07-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

I know we have only just meet...
and haven't really know u not even a year..
Yet...
it doesn't really stop us from making our friendship stronger..

U were a typical girl who enjoys
bolly and kolly wood...
who gave us a lot of ideas...
who gives her full co-operation at some time..
although didn't really talk..
yet U acknowledge me for who I am etc...

Even though U r now far away from us...
But we will never forget U that U were once
part of this class...
we will miss ur laughter...
ur weird obsession with perfumes..(joking)

so let the pictures tell the story!

her last time sitting there

signing autographs for her

with our ex form teacher aka cikgu R.J

our jamuan starts!

salam with her close friends

me and her...

the end..

jealousy

2010-07-02T11:37:00.001+08:00

"Jealousy makes a person face go green"

This quote was overheard when my friends were gossiping over something
(which I can't remember when it happen)
speaking of that..
I realize that how girls are easily showing their emotions
no matter how good or how bad it could be..
It's strange..
yet so true..
girls are easily jealous even the ~~slightest matter~~ in the world!!

When I was in a mix school..
I can't see that much..
maybe because we were still young..
Still INNOCENT..
or rather too tomboy that I always hang out with guys only..

But...
as soon as I step into a girl school which is my previous school CONVENT..
(i still love that school though..taught me too much things a child could bear)
I would never imagine myself in a messy situation where these girls
to the guys eye...who may look innocent,pretty,nice,friendly etc..
but deep down their heart..
is as dark as the black sea where even the finest gift on earth
could shattered by their evil thoughts..
scary??
I know..
It is that scary..

I would honestly tell U that..
sometimes I hate myself that I'm a girl...
Because the girl mind itself is complicated..
and scary as well...
I don't enjoy the hormones changes etc...
besides...
they are also selfish being who only think of themselves
and not really wanting to care for other people..
They are easily jealous if someone is better off than them
or that person own something they knew they can't have..

Until now it makes me wonder..

what do I have to make girls jealous of me??

I'm nothing but a face which is plain as jean..

I'm nothing but short...

I'm nothing as I'm a tomboy who doesn't have much body to show off..

I'm just being me..

so what are u guys trying to be jealous at??

U don't have to compete with me course never once in my mind

I have the thought of competing with U..

U don't have to copy me because

no one could ever be me..

U don't have to spread rumors about me 

because at the end of the day..
people would know that U r lying to them

and U will make a fool of urself..

do remember that the more U r doing this to urself..
not people will only hate u..
in fact,
U r just killing urself by digging ur own grave..

everyone has their own unique and flaws..
U don't have to be jealous
just because U can't get praises U want..
always remember that...
Praises are just like defamation..
The more praises U want to hear..
Be prepare to hear lots of criticism as well..

Let us all be friends with each other..
I hope that U guys don't become the picture below...
where U r posses by evil spirit..
Not sure what U r thinking..

moral of the story :

THINK TWICE !!!

a family thing.

2010-06-27T23:02:00.000+08:00

since my sister have just arrive not long from her stressful university
which is NUS(National University of Singapore)
I guess that it is a high time for her and also the rest of the family
to relax and pamper ourselves with our neighbouring country a.k.a Thailand
1 of the cheapest place to shop where my family is familiar to that place...

okay la..
I'm kinda lazy to express my thoughts here course I'm kinda tired...
so let the pictures do the talking instead!

place we always change our currency money

cop our passport..

the hotel bed...(i din have the chance to sleep at)

facial torture moments...

me with super cheap swansern ice-cream aka fifa world cup American Banana

mama fever with world cup

model for tiger beer

cheers with my sista~

THE END~

the end of school holiday

2010-06-19T22:21:00.004+08:00

Since the end of school holiday is coming..
I do have some dilemmas as well..
I know in my blog I have achieve a few things in my life such as...

hang out with 95% of my classmate

being a model

travel to the city of urban

meet my best friend aka kanmani

Finally settle my stuff with him~

my dance crew (1st timer some more)..

Somethings didn't come as plan because
I did not plan it and most of it is always last minute..
but in the end.
I surprise myself again by doing those things...

BUT...

I forgot other stuff as well..
such as...

a)~~reading novels...~~

b)~~Finish up my makro homework~~

c)and ~~pengajian am as well...~~

d)I also ~~forgot to develop those pictures for my sejarah teacher..~~

Guess I'm ready to die..

Listen Up B....

2010-06-16T23:42:00.001+08:00

Hey girl!
oops!sorry! my mistake...
Since U r older than me more than 5 years...
And also reach adulthood like 4 years ago..
I've should have called U woman instead..
My bad..hehe =)
hope U will forgive me ok?

Neway,straight to the point..
Since U r older than me,
as the younger generation,
I'm respecting U by calling U 'KAKAK'
But the way U act towards me..
It so not a grown up woman should be..

U throw Ur pride out of the window
and wanting to find fault with me
just because of 1 fellow...
who is some more younger than U...
Oh my Oh my...GOD...
Are U really that desperate?

The problem right now is..
I'm doing what I think is right
and also I'm voicing out my opinion towards what I say...
but why do U have to take all the trouble just to shoot me?
Oh..right..
and U even protected him..
When U urself don't even know who the hell that guy is!

LOOK HERE LADY!

I don't even know U..
yet U added me like is just a normal thing!
But U don't even bother to talk to me..
I guess that jerk must have told U too many things about me..
Untill U couldn't resist Ur own curiosity just to
Find me..Figured it out..see what is so good about me..

U KNOW WHAT?
I'm just a normal Malaysian girl
who is obsessed over guys stuff!
who is trying to finish my STPM.
and figuring out who I really am...
that's all..
I'm just a simple person..
U don't have to add me just to see me..
If Ur English is that good,
U could actually read it from my profile..
Don't waste Ur space at FB to add me up..
Course I'm not even keen to know U as well..

But the most shocking thing was Ur ~~reaction~~ towards it..
After I message with him that mid-afternoon,
That night itself U even post Ur profile picture
Showing off those sweet sweet memories
to tell the world that 'He is my ~~GUY'~~
which I know Ur hidden meaning means
"Stop bothering me..he belongs to me!"
But after 1 day U've change the profile picture back..
(p/s : come on la..I also have la okay..just that I don't show off Like U only..)

Don't worry honey..
I've got the message LOUD and CLEAR..
U actually don't have to waste Ur time doing so..
Because I've cleared my stuff with him
and don't U worry..
because there will be tons of girls chasing after him..
SORRY to say I'm not one of it..

Never once in my life I would think that
a grown up...Independent woman like U...
could even fall into these kind of traps
that are so obvious..Yet tempting as well..
His trick maybe simple..
But he has that magic arrow that he borrowed from cupid
to shoot any girls heart he want..

Let's hope that U will wake up from his wicked spell..
course I've been there done there..
And of course I do every little thing with reason..
so please la..
wake up from UR fairy tale dream
course this is REALITY darling..
nothing comes for free without a price..
if U know what I mean..

Trust me..
1day U will regret and cry Ur ass off..
by that time happens..
don't even show Ur pity face towards me..
course I won't pity U anymore..

my last words to U

2010-06-15T13:25:00.003+08:00

Actually,I have a lot of things to say 2 u..
but I would like to cut it short course I know
I will waste my time..breath...cracking my dead brain cell..
just to write everything about U here..

It seems Ur so-called '~~best friend~~' told me a lot of interesting stuff about U..
Those stories that U've made up at FB..
It's alright..It's okay..
I will take it as a lesson to teach myself that I won't take things for granted again...

The second blow U gave me is still fresh in my heart...
U really ~~shattered~~ my heart into pieces..
this shit time..
And U did not know why I stop communicating with U..
U didn't even know that U have actually KANTOI with me..
How dare U compare me with Ur present GF now?!
Thank God I'm not as stupid as that girl to give up my true love and let U in..
In fact,it was the best choice that I let U go..

I actually had one problem with U right now,
U lie to me again right under my nose...
telling me it was a chinese GF...
Yet,,it was malay a gf who is older then U 2years..
WTF are U trying to do with me?
what are U trying to play with those dirty tricks of Urs
under Ur dirty little sleeve?

Since I didn't talk to U,
U've meet new people new friends..
I guess U use those technique again on her...
that poor girl must have fallen into one of UR ~~sick trap~~s..
I guess U must have told her something about 'US'
no wonder she quickly added me without uttering a word..
Just to see who am I or what am I made off..

Sadly to say..
She is also 1 kind la..
Just right after I message U that bright mid-afternoon..
She has changed her profile picture just to show me who is Ur girl now..
Oh my...poor thing..
that clueless creature..
she must have felt threaten after what U ~~kutuk~~ me infront of her..
Since she is the 1 who added me,
so of course I could hear and see it
LOUD and CLEAR..

If she would have knew the truth..
And still stick with U..
I would have kneel down on my knees just to salute her..
a trophy wife oh how cute..
Ur ignorance to me is a blessing in disguise..

U know actually

They may believe U..
But I never will...

If U EVER

=Quarrel with her (or any of Ur other GF)

=Being hit by people

=Went in the hospital

=LONELY

=U bang Ur own car..

=ETC..

Don't bother to even look Up to me..
Because..

Never again will I hear U

Never again will I miss U

Never again will I fall to

Never....

Never again will I kiss U

Never again will I want to

Never again will I <3 U..

NEVER!

Neway,thank u for those expensive gifts U gave me..

I actually appreciate it...

Too bad I couldn't ask for more since WE ended it that fast..

Life as a model

2010-06-10T08:53:00.001+08:00

1 in a million years I thought I will be doing this kind of thing..
a thing called 'FASHION' and also a thing called 'MODELLING'
for those who know me as for years..
they know I'm into boys stuff...
video games...rock music...extreme sports... u name it!
and they also know that how much I HATED girly things like
pink...barbie doll...fashion clothes...skirts...feminine...etc..
everything that a normal girl should do makes me kinda sick of it..
don't ask me why..
it always been like these since young..
but things don't always go that way..
my life is always unpredictable..

Same goes with my personality..
It's not that I have mood swings or what..
but certain words I say or actions I do
make me very very unpredictable..
that's why not many people could accept the fact
I could actually do this..
and I never fail to even surprise myself that I could do those things..
despite how much I despised it..

Thank u Vicca and family..
for giving me a opportunity to let me try and be myself..
although those 3-4 inch high heels & the way u make up almost killed me...

I was amazed by myself how well I could walk with it..
And also amazed that I have a inspiring make up artist friend like u =)

Thank u Ratikorn n Angie
for dragging me into it and not letting me bail out~
course it is really worth a try...

Thank u Sue Ann
for being a pain in the ass because this tested how patience I'm towards a b**** like u...

Thank u Eddy
U were 1 of that kind of guy who could be the next Simon Cowell..

Thank u Hairstylist (Robert & Stepahnie)
U guys did a wonderful job on my hair...and u even know what kind a person I'm..haha XD

Thank u to Bao Bao and Zi wei koko
We rock the runway!
although I almost trip and make a few mistake here and there..
U guys never complain instead..u gave me advice to improve myself~

Thank u Deanne

Its nice meeting u again after for so long..
although I'm embarrassed to let u see me like this..
but I'm glad that u r there to guide me as well...

Last but not least...
thank u to all the people who came and support us..
ur co-operation and support is very important..
I can't imagine without u guys!

to the rest of the models I didn't mention..
I had a blast!
eventhough I just know u guys for 3 days..
but it was fun being with u guys~

let's do it again next season!

outing with classmate

2010-06-05T14:06:00.001+08:00

it was the 1st day of holiday..
and also the 1st day of extra class..
I was forced to drag my body out of my bed thinking that itsFRIDAY
and there is no extra class..
so called body rytheme crap thing..
neway..
after school..
almost 90% of my classmate went to AiSyah house for some kenduri
(p/s :someone pass away so they have to held a kenduri 4 being 'syukur')

Beside me being 1 of the drivers..
my good friend hanis
(1 of the dorm girls)
drove her car too!
so we have 2 cars to fit 10 people..
there rest have to either drive their own which one of them is roqiah...
while waiting for the dorm girls to get ready..
I went with my friends motor
(I haven't drove 1 for ages..)
took me awhile to even start the motor..
then slowly looking like a clown driving..

We went to Roqiah house then only Aisyah house..
where the food are simply the best!
with traditional kuih and also traditional
nasi gawai, curry pisang, kerabu tauge, ayam masak merah etc...
it is just wonderful to eat somewhere near the kampung areas and also enjoy this kind of food..
loving it!

let the pictures tell you the story!

me sitting on my friends motor...

racing between the kancils...

reach our destination!

the biscuit are amazing!!

kuih talam and dalam.~ (1 of my favourite!)

serving the food...

doa sebelum makan...

posing before going home~

with the host aka Aisyah (in the black n pink tudung..)

I really enjoyed my day with you guys..
even though it is a very short trip..
but being with you guys make it a whole lot different..
besides, its a rare opportunity that most of us could hang out like this...
Hope we could come out more often like this..
and also...
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!!

I've learn something today!

2010-06-02T22:17:00.003+08:00

Since I had my car..
I rarely experience a ~~flat tyre~~ thing yet..
So just now after I came back from sk8 park
I drop by at the nearest Esso gas station near my Taman
To pump some oil and air to my tyres as well..
But then realize that 1 of the tyre is not working..
In fact is coming out more air then it suppose 2 add in..
Quickly and slowly I drove my car to the nearest tyre shop but it closed already..
I had no choice but to drive back home and change it into a spare tyre..

Which took me an hour..
With my mum don't bother to touch but look at my progres..
While I have to keep calling my dad to ask for advice..
I managed to changed everything
And so my mum accompany me to the gas station again to pump my spare tyre..
thank god it could still be used!

here are the pictures as proof!

pumping it a lil higher to change...

changing changing...

finally got it!!

well...
It makes me feel like I've achieve something and I'm happy about the progress
even though it is bloody slow for me to change it..
but It didn't really matter...
at the end of the day..
I learn something to handle it in the future..
So another way to be independent..
haha XD

how to deal with loss..

2010-05-31T22:24:00.003+08:00

I need another story...

Something to get off my chest..

my life is kind boring..

it is something that I can confess...
It was an opening of a song titled '~~SECRETS~~'
by one republic..a truly touching song which I felt that it could express just what I needed right now...

I gotta admit..
I'm having a lot of difficulties to it this time..
A person who I truly cared for..
Where I spend time with him..
Where I spend some of my money on him..
Where I spend sleepless night just worrying about him..
Where I did have deep affection for him..(maybe more than friends)
Where I even gave up on certain principle that I practice just for him...

Later..
After showing his true colours to me...
Although I have made up my mind to be strong and
don't look back on him...
But deep down inside my heart...
I was truly hurt by his actions and felt betrayed for what he had done for me..
Even though I keep telling myself to let go..
Still...It is still hard to not just forgive him...
And also hard to forgive myself where I have deny the truth
And also hurt another person who is equal important in my life..

Thanks to facebook..
I came across an article from my Raja Yoga meditation
who wrote a short..simple...yet powerful words that woke me up instantly..
That get me back on track...
Remind me on my true form..
Within seconds..
I've become who I really was..

This note that save my life..
When there is dependency, the loss of that upon which I was dependent causes sorrow. There is a sense of something missing when I am separated from the person, possession or position I have lost. To overcome this sense of loss, it is essential to understand that my body, relationships, wealth and the world are not constant – they are changing all the time. I may think that a person belongs to me alone, but the truth is that they are connected with many others. No one is truly ever mine. When relationships are based on true love and spirituality, that is, a soul to soul connection, there is no sorrow. Even when the time comes for a loved one to move on, what can help me deal with the loss is the awareness that what we have shared is with me even now and that our connection is an eternal one. It is vital to realise that even now my thoughts and feelings still reach them. Therefore, if I choose to have good wishes and pure feelings, as opposed to feelings of sorrow, this will help them on their
onward journey. It will be my gift to them.

..

nocturnes (ye qu)

2010-05-31T18:41:00.005+08:00

to someone...
who I knew who love this song a lot..
even though he doesn't really understand the meaning of this song..
I'm dedicating this to u..
I guess I'm falling for it as well..
course it remind me how precious certain things in ur life...
are dead to me now..
ENJOY~

she finally got it!

2010-05-29T08:43:00.005+08:00

It was 28.05.2010..
I was suppose to enter a competition with my friend aka michele..
but before the date due of giving it to my another friend to register..
something terrible went wrong..
I was sick..fever..with next day exam of Sejarah paper 1..
I wonder how I survived it for the next few days..
After I'm well with my Fever..
Next come the side effects..which is sore throat..
I've lost my precious voice and turn into a rock chic...
(p/s: my malay friends keep saying I sounded like Ella the queen of rock in M'sia)

So unfortunately,
I've to step down the game & let Michele to spread her own wings
and be on stage alone..
I've a few pictures of other participants which are not so clear..
and also a video clip of her singing!
hope u guys enjoy it!

a not so belly dancer...

a model guy looking singing...

yan jo helping Michele to do some touch up..

this is her video...
enjoy!!!

I'm proud of u michele..
even though u keep on complaining and whinning about everything
that u might fail the task etc..
but U've done a better job like a pro singer who is on stage all the time..
may god bless u n bring u up further than this!
cheers! =)

used to be

2010-05-26T23:10:00.001+08:00

U came into my life just like a whirl wind
Spin so fast till everything was destroyed..
yet leave it so quietly and subtlely that no one would realize u were there before..
U...were one of those kind of thing...
I thought I knew u..
U make me feel like I've known u 4 years..
Guess I was wrong again...

Frankly speaking..
I've fallen for ur traps where he was busy...
U make me feel wanted...needed...
U gave me things that he would never afford
U keep me company when I was all alone without him being around..
U gave me some excitment in my life that I wouldn't enjoy it with him...
just to get into my toot.....

I did love u before..
I wanted to be serious with u..
But ur actions make me doubt u again..
My friends keep telling me that u were a player..
I guess they were right when I caught u red handed..
U were a typical kind of player..
Which I'm not used to be pick by a player..
I'm not pretty nor rich..
I'm just a normal tomboy trying to live my life!

Yet..U still pick me as ur victim...
Maybe to u I was unique..
I'm way to different then other girls..
I'm not as boyish as some girls where they act like a guy..
I'm not as feminine as other girls where they are way to girly..
I'm that kind of girl who is just nicely stuck in the middle..
not too girly nor too boyish..
Or is it my looks that make u think I'm exotic??
where my eyes are as small as Japanese people look like..
With that fair skin u couldn't even make urself patience with the temptation..
oh right..
I could speak malay better then most chinese that u've meet before..
No wonder u keep telling people about me..
Now I get it..

U knew that I've someone in mind..
U knew that I'm still in love with him..
Yet, U tried ur best too pull my attention towards u..
At 1st u succeed it..
but few months later..U were getting boring..
U showed ur true colours to me..

If u were to ask me now did I ever love u before..
my answer is yes..I did...And I will always do that.`
whether it is a status of a 'lil brother' 'best friends' 'scandal' etc..
I will always remember that U were once a part of me..
Just remember that I never hate u what u've done to me..
Yet I thank u for doing that..
Course u make me see a lot of things in a different view of life..

Thank u so much for all the guidance u gave me..
even though it was short..like 6-8 months...
yet a memorable and bitter sweet journey I had with u..
our road together has ended here..
may god bless u whenever u go..
If we ever meet again..
I hope that the scars u gave me have heal
and I will be a brand new person again..
And maybe..
To accept u back in my life as a friend..

1 of my dreams came true!

2010-05-21T21:22:00.001+08:00

It is finally here...
It has finally came true!!!
I couldn't believe my eyes until I saw it on TV!
woohoO!!!!!!!!!!
my dream to be interview as a skater girl!
That was really one in a million years!!!
I really couldn't ask for more!

Most of my family members were in newspaper..magazine etc...
but being on tv..
I think I'm 1 of the 1st want though!
and some more the only girl..
not your ordinary girl..
a chinese girl who actually skate in Kedah..

Even though I'm not the main want of it..
but it didn't really matter..
I was interviewed!
although I try to run away from them asap..
they just grab me by chance..
what to do...

Most of the convent juniors and my batch saw it..
It was kinda emberassing..
neway,
I thank god for giving me this opportunity to full fill one of my dreams..
thanks baba!

<3 u guys!
u guys rock~

here is the link!!
http://www.rtm.gov.my/new/bm/sub_tv2.php?pg_ID=65

to you who I trusted

2010-05-11T20:34:00.000+08:00

to a guy I though u were my ~~best friend~~...
Never once in a million I thought u will betray me this way..
Told u before whatever u do right or wrong be honest with me..
Yes..u told me somethings that are general in ur life..
but u forgot to tell me 'other' important things in ur life..
U lie to me over and over again..
U say that u were meeting ur other guys friend there..
Yet...
U were meeting other girls behind my back..
I can't believe me for trusting u that u weren't actually the guy u look like..
Oh..right!!
And also tell them the exact some thing u told me as well..
Like "I miss you..."
"I wanna hug u..kiss u.."
"I need u in my life..." etc
Man..U make me sick of myself right now..
thinking all those mushy words u say makes me wanna puke right now..

U gave me de ja vu feelings like never before..
I was trying to be nice to u..
By being someone who u could trust..
Being there for u always..
And never control ur life or even question ur life what so ever...
I'm a unique person myself..
There is a thing saying 'Love me or Hate me'..
There is no one like me in this world..
I'm freaking dissapointed with what u r trying 2 play on me..
I'm so different than other girls around..
what makes u think u could do this to me?

Who u think u are to do to me like this?

a toy for u 2 play at?

or rather a girl who looks ~~naive~~ and ~~innocent~~ so that u could tricked her 24-7??

wow~
dude..macha...
if that is the person u r looking for..
then sorry mate!
u got the wrong person!
Told u that if u treat me good I will treat u good back..
but if u betray me the consequences is quite 'Good'

Now...
Couldn't believe u that u actually lie 2 my other friends saying that U dunno me...
oh right...and Ur name is *TOOT TOOT TOOT*
Fcuk yeah!
I know every dirty secret of urs..
don't even think of fooling me U S.O.B!!!

U r just a pretty boy with a ~~pretty face~~ n also a short body!
U are no fun..no manners..and boring as well..
U asshole..
better watch out..
I don't think I could bear myself to meet you or even be friends with you anymore!
I would personally like to kick u myself...
I caught u red handed myself...

U have gone beyond my limit darling..

U provoke me and tested my patience..
there is no way I would ever forgive u now..

Even if u wan me back in ur life..
I will just turn my attention off towards u...
Do what ever u want..
I'm not bothered anymore..
just don't try to act innocent to me..
If u still wanna be friends with me..

Please use ur heart instead or ur head..

I don't need guy friends who are materialistic people..
and using me just a tool for them..

Good bye!

writing..

2010-04-30T07:48:00.000+08:00

Some say that writing is fun because it's like a fantasy dream
where it's another way to express the fantasy that u been having it for months...
Or another way to express how u feel right here right now..
Or also another way to tell the people what u been doing n how you've been going through...

For me,writing something is not just any of those reasons...
Because I like to write...
It doesn't matter what I write might be lousy,lame,boring,nonsense etc...
But I just enjoy writing all those crap shit...
Even though sometimes it is irritating that u cn't find certain words to express what u wanna write..

I know everyone experience it though..
Like it was already in ur mind saying that..
''Yes!this is what I want to write when I go home n post it in the blog"
but then, every time we reach home..
Another failure because once we reach home,
a lot of work is waiting for u..
Like The bed is calling for u 2 sleep..
Or the bathroom is asking u 2 have a nice bathe..
Or the food that smiles delicious that ur makes ur salivour drip..
It's a common thing for every blogger though..
Unless a great determination..
U can't get through those things..
which sometimes I find it funny or rather ordinary..

Those lame excuses..
haiz~
neway,
for my opinion..
when someone does ask me 'why do you blog??' or 'why do u write?'
my answer will always be the same :

course I <3 to write!

It's just that simple..
;)

ratikorn's birthday!

2010-04-18T19:44:00.004+08:00

17th April was one of my closest friend birthday which is Ratikorn a.k.a Roti...
Since I got a car,I decided to hang out with her during the morning..
after eating breakfast at Telok Wanjah Market...
we went to fetch Weiz, who is back for a week...
(but gone to Langkawi for practical)

I brought both of them to Musuem Paddy and also Science Centre Kedah...
it was so cool....
1st experience...
with weiz new handphone mini N97...
she re-edit some pictures...
looking good though..
haha XD
let the pictures do the talking!

untying the ropes

magic mirror (that make us look thin)

under the rings...

in fantasy world

a handcuff love story..

rock climbing (sexy butts..)

3D glasses

earth quake experience...

a great song

2010-04-16T13:07:00.004+08:00

music heals the soul of people..
I found another great video clip that I would love to express this to someone that I sincerely care for..
hope those who are broken hearted will enjoy this music video course it is a emotional video clip..
Although the language is slightly a problem,
but I hoped the eng sub could make u understand it bettter...
comes from a thai rock band a.k.a bodyslam!
kwan ruk = LOVE <3

I'm 18 going to 19....

2010-04-15T05:42:00.000+08:00

sorry guys..
I just got my internet back though..
took me awhile 2 actually could write back my blog..
which is a good thing..
haha XD

neway,this feeling before and after ur birthday..
is totally weird...
a new feeling I guess to ensure that u r alive at this moment..
learning new things..learning to accept myself and love myself more..
I did have a blast for my birthday this year where
I get to eat 3 different types of cake..
3 different types from different group of my friends..
1st = classmate..
2nd = chinese gang studying form6...
3rd = my 2 bff from the sk8 group...

well..
a total surprise...
didn't expect much this year...
the pictures are already in facebook..
I'm lazy to download it here though..
check it out there then..

updates in school!

2010-03-15T10:03:00.003+08:00

it's been awhile I've talk anything about it..
but the past few weeks after the suckish exam...
everything seems to be back to normal...
my class was chosen to join the JOM masuk 'U' at dewan wawasan..
a lot of thing happen..
our class is the smallest class..(~~14 ppl only~~)
yet we could even break into groups n wonder around...
lolx~
but it's ok..
cuz my group of classmate consist of 1malaysia..
haha XD
let the pictures do the talking..

with my buddies...

welcome...

to karnival jom masuk 'U'!!!

interview by dj Ice (kedah fm)

free celcom X uni pack

cheers!! (in-comix coffee)

konsep1Malaysia..

our guru pengiring...(Pn.Zaraini [sej 2] and Pn,Zalilah [muet])

where is the bus??

should I?

2010-03-10T06:24:00.000+08:00

last week I've lost a friend...
a friend who is 1 of the b.k youth in Kuala Lumpur who has left the body because of ulcer cancer..
He couldn't go through the chemo theropy thing...
speechless...
may god bless the family and also her sis aka kasthuri...
cause I know how close she is with her brother...

meantime..
I haven't decided if I wanna go KL or not..
abit frust though..
argh!!!

7％人生教我的45個功課

2010-02-25T20:13:00.000+08:00

1。人生是不公平，但還是好得很。

2。懷疑的時候，為未來踏出一小步。

3。人生太短，短到來不及浪費時間去恨任何一個人。

4。生病的時候，你的工作不會照顧妳。你的朋友和父母會。保持聯絡。

5。每一個月付清你的信用卡。

6。你不需要每一次都吵贏。同意你不同意的。

7。找人一起哭。它比獨自啜泣更加療愈。

8。對上帝生氣沒有關係。祂受得了。

9。退休存款從你的第一張薪水條開始。

10。講到巧克力，抗拒只是徒勞無功。

11。和你的過去和解，所以它不會搞砸你的當下。

12。讓你的孩子看到你哭沒有關係。

13。別拿自己的人生和他人做比較。你根本不清楚他們的人生是怎麼一回事。

14。如果一段親密關係要偷偷摸摸，你根本不應該涉入。

15。一眨眼的功夫什麼都會變。但是別擔心：上帝從來不眨眼。

16。深吸一口氣。它會安定你的腦。

17。沒用，不美，或不喜悅的東西都丟掉。

18。沒讓你死的真的會讓你更堅強。

19。重拾快樂童年永不嫌晚。但這第二次只能靠你不靠人。

20。當關乎追求你生命的所愛，不要把不要當答案。

21。點蠟燭，用好的床單，穿上炫麗的內衣。不要特殊場合才用。今天就是特別的一天。

22。準備要過於周全，然後隨遇而安。

23。現在就離經叛道。不要一把年紀了才開始穿上紫色。

24。最重要的性器官是腦袋。

25。除了你，沒有人在主宰你的快樂。

26。把所謂的不幸用這一句話把它表框起來 "五年後，這還重要嗎?"

27。永遠選擇生活。

28。原諒每一個人每一件事。

29。別人怎麼看你不干你的事。

30。時間會痊癒幾乎每一件事。要給時間，時間。

31。無論情況多好或多壞，它都會變的。

32。不要那麼認真的看待自己。沒有人會這樣看待你的。

33。相信奇蹟。

34。上帝愛你是因為祂就是這樣，不是因為你做了什麼或是沒做什麼。

35。不要稽查人生。現在就呈現和做最大的發揮。

36。變老了打敗另一種選項 - 死得早。

37。你的孩子只有一個童年。

38。最後真正最重要的是你愛過。

39。每一天都出門。奇蹟在四處等著。

40。如果我們都把我們的問題都丟成一堆，然後看看其他人的，我們會把我們的撿回來。

41。忌妒浪費時間。你已經擁有你所需要的了。

42。最好的都還沒來。

43。不管你感覺如何，起來，穿好和呈現。

44。讓自己每天快樂。

45。人生不會打上蝴蝶結，但它仍然是一份禮物。

作者： Regina Brett，90歲，來自俄亥俄州，克里夫蘭，Plain Dealer城

sick..

2010-01-05T06:43:00.000+08:00

Diarrhea again..
I wonder it's the Laksa or the yogurt that make me sick..
lolx~

My confession before the year ends..

2009-12-31T11:48:00.003+08:00

CONFESSION TIME!

Looking back the previous things I've written in this blogspot for like a year almost 2 years..
It's weird reading back what you wrote before..
I mean its like...
reading a diary that some are long forgotten
and looking back at it feels nostalgia..
those cheerful and ~~hurtful~~ moments...
Make me realize that I've gone through hell lot of it..
I'm grateful to it..

No matter it comes from the matter of friendship to love to studies
I guess it all comes to the same answer...
"Life makes you grow!"
Me grown from a naive girl to a Rebellious want and to a Girl who is turning 19 soon..
(I haven't written anything how I feel when I was 18..lolx~)

A lot of weird things happen in the same time..
1st thing..

family reunion

Singapore vsMalaysia vs Australia

Singapore was like meeting my own sister and vising her campus etc..
that was really fun..
thanks che..
for spending and wasting ur money on me to tour me around...

Malaysia is I finally meet my mum's side relatives..
I think it's been like 4 years I haven't meet them and it was just a WOW thing for me
as all of us have grown up and change a lot..
It was nice meeting you guys!
(especially chiang2..miss u a lot!)

while Australia is GREAT!
couldn't been better!
haven't meet a lot of nephew and nieces..
good experience..

2nd thing...
My health
Seems to go up and down..
I've been through an oral surgery this year..
for my braces..

(and a lot of kutuk-ing from the dentist for not taking care my braces well)

a lot of bruises on my leg and knee from the sports I'm dealing with..
(no regrets although I know I'm going to be a WOMAN soon..)

3rd thing...
My option in studying..
followed my sister steps instead of following my brother's want..
which form6 is really not a joke..
though they always say Art subject were always much easier..
Now I really have to doubt..

I would sincerely like to apologize to my tuition teacher Mr Tan
(have not been a good student but I will make up this 2010)

4th thing...
My circle of friends
From my primary/tuition friends till high school and also my form6 life..
(my extreme friends& teleforce collegue)

Meet new people..make new friends with people...
It's just get bigger and bigger don't they?
although those I've studied with them in high school almost half of them are missing
but meeting new wants that really makes your life reach a whole new level..
I even get to meet 2 new best friends! (both malays 1 guy n 1 gurl)

5th thing...
my love life
Weird part is
I still love and care for my ex
who has always been there for me all the time
(I dunno how to thank him for that)

Fun part is
Someone new just happen to be in my life...
Although both of us have already developed the 'more than friend' thing
But the sad part is..
I'm not going to accept a new relationship soon...
Let's see if this new dude can wait for another year..

6th thing..
I got some stuff

Got my driving license

change my IC

Got a debit card under my name

Nokia5320 express music

Peruda Kancil 1997 (2nd hand)

Amp for my elec guitar

Stainless steal pendrive 4g

hats and caps

etc...

Last but not least

My inner self

I know I have been a very bad girl this year..
Didn't really follow the vegetarian diet strictly enough..

Been ponteng-ing tuition and school (for braces)
Tell some white lies..
might and might not help some people..
heaps of UPs and DOWNs..
keep fighting and struggling inside...

In the end..

I need to go for a super mighty big REVOLUTION! 

Happy new year!

(sorry to those I've hurt ur feelings or ur pride...) 

where to countdown?

2009-12-31T08:52:00.000+08:00

as we all know alor star..(aka my hometown)
is such a cute and tiny little town you see...
and also facing some problems of social crap thing..
does anyone have a suggestion where to count down??

heaps of stuff to say...

2009-12-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

actually..
I've been a lil bit reluctant to type certain things about my 2 and a half weeks in Melbourne..
Course I find it hard to say certain things on the net..
as well as what was going on the inner side of me...
there is heaps of things for me to write down..
Yet I choose not too..

Maybe course I'm just plainly lazy to write
(after not touching the net for quite awhile)
or rather there is nothing to say..

Anyhow,
it was fun..
And got to learn their culture..
the "Mat Salleh' culture..which is far more open and wider than the chinese want
where it is more conservative as you may put that on words...
lolx~

okay..didn't know it is this hard...

2009-12-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

Packing list to go there!

~~singlets~~
~~personal things~~
~~swimming suit~~
~~jacket~~
~~make up~~
~~hat/cap~~
toothbrush
~~shorts~~
~~diary~~
~~presents~~
~~slippers~~
hand phone
~~visa~~
~~passport~~
skate board
~~charger~~
~~camera~~
etc..
wat else do I need to pack?
Didn't know it's hard to pack sometimes

to someone...

2009-12-02T20:23:00.004+08:00

I dunno why I had this bad feeling after coming back from Shah Alam..
even though I did enjoy myself at the sk8 clinic
last minute register
got myself a certificate and a cute small towel..

Then later that afternoon.
I was chilling with my other sk8 friends where suddenly...
out of nowhere...
I saw someone damm familiar..
yet I couldn't recalled the person because the way of dressing was way too different...
thank god I could recognize the 'SPECIAL T-shirt' and also that hair colour of yours..
IT WAS YOU...
suddenly just pop by and say hello for awhile..
I was shocked and speechless where I never expected you to be here..
I was happy and excited...
but I tried to suppress it..
Didn't want people to notice it especially you...
though I could never hear nor feel how you feel..
But I feel content..
that you came over...
although I don't really know your last minute business as well..

I know that we have some difficulties to express certain things
as every movement we are doing...
People were watching...
Both of us knew that we couldn't do a lot of things like any normal people will do..
yet,
seeing you was just all I need to know that
you were okay...
you were alright..
seeing you yesterday was like lifting a big burden to me..
all my worries that I have for you when I was in other place just forgotten..
Looking you straight into the eyes makes my body weak...
as usual..
you never really know..
because you were just a best friend..
and both of us know about it..
It's hard to be together..
yet hard to be apart from each other...

I thought of meeting up with you..
but you had your "WORK" which I know it more than anyone else...
So my other friends came over instead to keep up what's going on in my life..
I didn't know why you reacted that way,
but you didn't seem happy and also say a few things that you will never say to me...
I was again left shocked and speechless with your weird attitude..
but I tried not to think so much..
and left it in my heart and sink it in the deepest core of my heart..
because...
you weren't mine...
I belong to me...
but it really hurts those heartbreaking words you said to me..

This morning..
I didn't know why I let myself sleep into a sleepless dream..
couldn't remember nor recalled...
I didn't know why I panicked and called you like your usual morning time..
at 1st, I couldn't get through you...
but later you message me apologizing to me that you didn't reply my message etc...
I called you straight away!
just to get the bad news about something I never though you will leave on this morning itself...
Which was so f**ing last minute...
and again another burden was added...
You make me start worrying you all over again..

I dunno what you were thinking but seriously...
you really break my heart..
I remember saying 'okay..chat later..bye..'
I tried to sink into my mind what you have just told me..
and tears start to roll down that quickly..
it's been awhile I've cried for someone like you that easily...
and almost an hour le! sial!

I remember through sms and the whole conversation..
'lebih kepada maki daripada cakap...'
I was so shitly piss off!
I couldn't believe that you of all people have to do this to me...
At 1st, I seriously didn't want to hear all those crap reasons you gave me
for not telling me earlier etc..
While me was giving me a piece of my mind of those weird actions you gave me etc..
But soon after I've calm my nerves down...
It was time to say goodbye..
you sms me saying things I never thought it will be true..
In the end..
you went to the airport and left..
The only thing I could do is..
pray for you..
wait for you..
and keep special words in my heart..
left unspoken...

bruises

2009-12-02T19:58:00.003+08:00

after having an effing day at the roller skate ring at sg wang..
which a lot of ah lians or ah beng or lala people hang out
finally I meet someone who spoil my really shit mood..
was in a good mood, even though I fall like more than twice..
there was this time I fall right into a group of people who were...
SHUFFLING at the edge of a corner...
damm! It sucks cuz I fall right onto my knees...
have some pretty big bruise though.
okay lo, wanted to apologize to that group of people
BUTTTT!!!!!!!
after I looked up and before I could even open my mouth and apologize..
this stupid bimbo lala gurl just shoot me one shit word..
"WALAO EI!"
with an annoying muka of hers and shit expression
then only I realize she was the only girl in that girl...
no wonder la...
want attention from those shit looking guys kot..
There was this guy who offered to help me up..
I say 'NO WAY!'
whatever, I get back up with my head held high!
but it hurts like hell
and went to chill with my best friend cousin aka OGC...
Complain the shit hell of me..
haha XD
but thanks again dude..
for bringing me around..
haha XD

Taman Setia Aman

2009-11-27T22:54:00.002+08:00

Now at my 3rd auntie son's house near Shah Alam...
where this family is a 'goody too shoes'
cause their new house is far from the Kall Hell town..
and alo they rarely go out want..
makes me feel like living hell here!!!
okay...
can't write much..
will update soon~

chalet or a pulau?

2009-11-17T16:05:00.006+08:00

Today I'm proud to announce that I ponteng school today!
muahahaha
why?
for the sake of my teeth that make me feel like having a living hell after tighten it over and over again for the past 5-6 months...
haiz~
no wonder I'm getting thinner...
but after the appointment..
I went to a secret place I like to go..
Its like around half an hour drive...
to a place that I dear of and its feel cool and chill...
its a friend of mine who I just met this year..
Both of us are in the same class...
Since then, we have been together everywhere...
(even my 3rd home aka sk8 park)

and both of us have a lot of things in common though...
from birthdays (mine 1st only then hers)
To personality (me macho she feminine)
Stylista (me rock n roll she funky)
Talkative (can't deny that!)
etc. . . . .
The difference between us is that
1. She loves pink! (I hate that colour)
2. She has light brown eyes (my eyes are dark brown)
3. She is a slow person (I'm the fast want..)

This is me and her at Taman Jubil Perak

Roqiah house! (my twin Malay friend)
Her house is really a kampung area where I like to lepak and enjoy sembang-Ing
with her and her family..
It's cool and chill...
but today Of course I got a shock of my life...
Didn't know that this what happen to the place after flash floods happen!
These are the pictures to tell the story line...

Before into her house..

She (Roki) on the way...

PEACE!

See how deep the water is??!!

WOW!!! Looks like a chalet to me!

Me at a deserted island~

I'm glad to meet such a friend of her
where she welcome me with open arms and having a rock family where they are one of the chill parents I see...
As you see...
SHe is a little shorter then me...
but it's her attitude that she has an open mind and heart which attracts me even more to be friends with her..
With her loudspeaker voice...
friendly attitude...
Very open for a girl who wears tudung...
Very stylist as well...
I couldn't be grateful towards her that she was there for me in some moment of time where I really needed help and advice from a person that I wish to trust~
thanks a lot!
and Thank you god!
for allowing me to meet such a wonderful girl!
haha XD

akhir jamuan tahun 6r1

2009-11-15T23:11:00.004+08:00

When I 1st saw my sis who studied form6 at the year of 2005-2006...
I could not imagine myself studying in that kind of unique uniform...
plus with the amount of time that she sleeps and studies or rather to say
how she manage her time..
I never ever thought twice of going into it anyway...

But after my sis left for Singapore to purchase her studies... I was still hoping of going to a private college to study the course that I want... I guess God has other plan for me... And let me go into form6 to experience something new! Although the school that I have to study is still a single sex school like my previous school.. That didn't bother me at all... Because my new classmate comes from other schools that I some I never knew.. and I don't mind learning something from other students as well~ Ever since I came in to this 'cluster school' to further my studies as a form 6 students.. I realize that being a student in that school is quite tense... It reminds you of the learning system in Singapore.. where grads or merits are important... you know la.. Malaysian education system is 'exam oriented' so its not a surprise thing to see that all the students there where they keep their book everywhere with them as a companion.. while some of them are just normal la.. 1thing to say that I do pity the Prefects there.. They really had to work their ass off to get the high post they need... and seriously la.. the uniform... I have no comment la... but it's the weirdest colour so far I seen...

Overall, I'm lucky to have good teachers where most of them are hardworking and dedicated teachers...
(they do have the best teachers so far...)
My class mates are quite okay lo..
dah la they pick me to become the 'Otai' of this class..
haha XD
bad bad choice..
I guess course they don't know me..
weird thing is, I thought that If I go in to form6 I will be a regular student..
(since my mum is not in that school..)
but le, it became another thing...
aiyo!
Forced to take part that nobody there to do...etc..
haiz~

Even my class original consists of 18 students but now keluar 2 become 16..
its still a nice class..
where everyone pakat to help each other in certain things...
talk crap..
lepak together etc...
so the party starts where there is no teacher who come in to class..
haha XD

THe class party cake~

assistant and Otai for the opening party~

everybody gather to start the party!

1Malaysia!

Selamat hari raya korban!

after finals

2009-11-12T10:04:00.004+08:00

this what happens to our class after finals...
let the picture tell the story..

let the ball start rolling people!

snatch those places babY!

let your body follow the music!

even the 'tai ka jie' oso join the crowd!

the winner of the day!!

if you can get it right..
congratulations!
never think of at this age we can still do this kind of bo bo thing right?
at this kind of age some more?
where we are on the way out of adolescence...
yet acting like a naive child doing things that doesn't concern other people?
haha XD
I miss those days when I was kid especially in my primary years..
where I learn to laugh,cry with all my good friends there..
nostalgia..

de ja vu

2009-10-17T08:54:00.003+08:00

Have you ever talked to someone before that you never really see this people..
yet after chatting from myspace, facebook etc...
you guys got really close?
even better when both of you change handphone numbers and started talking or sms-ing through this technology things that makes you feel like we have known each other for like what?
10 years? 20 years? or an old friend who hasn't meet his best friends for decades!
I do...
seriously..
it was really de ja vu...
It's kinda weird to say..
but Its like I've known him forever...
how scary it can be?

some say you have meet this person in your previous life...(karma)
some say its the sub-conscious mind that recognize the soul..
some say its just a feeling of de ja vu...
and etc etc...

the story begins like this..
a gurl (alor star) who meets a top flatland guy (gurun)
who she saw him once in the revolution magazine in 2001
while he saw her once in the old sk8 park at stadium
who looks more like a tomboy than any decent gurl...
after 2 years,
they meet again through bbq party that was held in the new sk8 park...
even though they never talked to each other...
yet a feeling of acknowledge each other existence where there...
after the gurl upload some of the bbq pic in myspace...
he add her...
even though quite far away from each other
but manage to contact through the high tech gadgets...
INTERNET~
and after that..
they just click!
just like a magnet that couldn't be separate...
that is what we feel for the moment...
5 months and 3 days...
we become the best friends ever!
this is the pic of that'UNLUCKY' friend of mine...
hope our friendship last forever!

the sk8 comp

at old town

walau!

2009-10-15T06:09:00.002+08:00

finals coming....
assignments have to pass up already..
my pendrive los Un-found..
Me always feel sleepy...
books haven't finish study..
haven't finish revising...
and I can still BLOGGING...
wtf?

being tag again...

2009-10-10T21:36:00.003+08:00

1. Besides your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?

nose?

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?

that I am alive?

3. Who is the last person/people you took photo with?

am cher! 1 of the local sk8 idol! and boy pj the mc!

4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED?

definately not!

5. Will you ever donate blood?

for sure la..safe peoples life man!

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

oh yeah..tons of them..haha XD

7. Do you want someone to be dead?

har?no need la..everyone will die some day..

8. What does your last text message say?

at home

9. What are you thinking about right now?

god and my homework undone must pass up tommorrow..lolx~

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?

nope...prefer to be left alone now...

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?

1.30 a.m

12. Where did you buy the tee you wearing now?

at thailand hatyai market...

13. Is someone on your mind right now?

hmm...got a few lo...

14. Who was the last person who text you?

Michele leong...

Ten lucky people to do this quiz.

1. Chew Su Juin

2. Hui Ning

3. Huey Wen

4. Buddhi

5. Gee Chiang

6. ai jia

7. Locus

8. Erin

9. Daniel Ting

10. Hor Mun

15. Who is no.2 having relationship with?

Single and free!

16. Is no.3 a male or female?

female aka gurl...

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together, would it be a good?

hmm...good idea...but I dunno le..haha XD

18. What is no.1 studying?

Taylor college
19. When was the last time you chatted with them?

Can't remember...

20. Is no.4 single?

Yes.. Single and available...

21. Say something about no.2

she is my sister...where we don't look alike..

22. What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together?

No!! lessbian??

23. Describe no.9

I don't really know him that well...

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight?

They don't know each other how to fight?

25. Do you like no.8?

she is my cousin dude...

okay!@!
The end!

hehehehe =)

2009-10-10T21:26:00.002+08:00

I can't write much cuz words sometimes can't express everything what u feel inside...
no matter how sad or how happy nor excited u are..
its hard to express it if u can't find the right words..

9th and 10th of October is the 1st international sk8 comp in de diz blue sk8 park!
I'm excited course I get to meet my local sk8 idols without going 2 KL to see them!
2nd, a lot of people I can meet!!get to know them!!
3rd, its been awhile that I actually attend a big event like this!
OMFG!!!!

I will upload the pictures in facebook and myspace soon..
U guys go n check it out!

p/s : not today la..battery kong..take too much pic..will upload soon!

lemau ING?

2009-10-05T13:55:00.004+08:00

I think I'm suffering from a weird symptome which says...

LEMAU?

I dunno why these days I am constantly tired...

Can' focus in class...

keep wanting to sleep...

no matter what time of the day and night...(can sleep for hours)

and can eat non stop...

with my painful braces on...(not stopping my appetite!)

Feeling really really lazy...

Or maybe my exam mode is on?

where I sleep countless hours...

eat sweet things non stop...

keep having a headache...

and going to back to FATTY SOON!!!!

broken...

2009-10-02T10:58:00.002+08:00

my heart has been broken . . .
not by the word of 'LOVE'
yet it says something deeper than that..
I've been broken by the word of
"FRIENDSHIP" !
to specific it as "Best Friends"
I didn't know that after being apart not even a year...
You break it just by a few seconds or a moment..
When it took so long to hold us together...
With our silly quarrels and arguement...
that keeps our bond stronger...
To have faith in each other...
To trust each other and also
To help each other...
Yet,
after helping you to find your true love..
You went other places to study...
I was happy for you..
little did I know that it will change our life forever!

Yesterday incident wasn't a pleasent one either...
You suddenly reappear out of nowhere...
and gave the shock of my life!
Without bothering to call or even to send a message to say that you came back!!
when I saw you I was happy and excited as well!
But then,
you gave me cold shoulders just by saying...
'I'm going off to buy something'
and left without even a word of asking 'how are you?'..

I was really speechless at that time of moment...
I thought,
'Well, maybe you are busy...'
so I didn't think much...
but when I met you in other places...
I told some things to you..
you didn't even bother to even answer me...
same goes to your boyfriend where I though of him as a good friend..
and walk out on me again...
that really staggered me and makes me wonder...
'What is going on between the both of us?'

So I just walked out the shop without bothering any other things anymore...
Other friends tried to console me..
I told them I was fine..
I didn't want to spoil their fun since 1 of them is their big special day...
But deep down in me,
I was upset, I was furious, I was worried,
all those emotions that struck me at that moment...
Makes me didn't even want to see you again...
so I left without bothering to see you again..
to go to a place where I can ease my mind...

When the other friend called to asked me,
and though of me angry of them..
It was silly of them though...
At least they have the heart to apologize....
even though it was really none of their business..
BUT YOU!!!
Of all people!!
You even dare to use their phone and even perli me saying that
I'm hurting your pride by walking away...
so I answer you simply by asking a question...
'Who is hurting whose pride now? you or me?'
you went silent and you only mumble a few words saying that
its a friends phone that you are using and then
beep beep beep..
the line went dead...
just like how you left me speechless again..

You are really a heartbreaker aren't you?
besides breaking boys heart that wanted to share it with you...
You even break a heart of a friend..
where I though of you 1 of my best BUDDIES!
where you had a special place in my heart..
but now,
I don't think it's worth doing so...
since both of us have change from best friends to normal friends..

there is nothing else to say...
only memories to keep in my heart...
forever...

3 in 1

2009-09-07T19:14:00.003+08:00

which one sucks for you guys?
sleepless night? pressure? or a nervous breakdown before the competition?
this is actually a 3 in 1 compact thing where it makes your brain retard
rather then helping you...
seriously,
I think I would be a zombie soon before the big holiday break comes at November...
my eyes already looks like a panda right now..
(if you see me in real person where I don't really have to wear eye liner to be emo...)
sigh~

Been through numerous competition...
yet every time it beats the hell out of u..
It does makes a person have breakdown person worrying all those little silly things
can make a big and tall person scared to death
of their own mistake will course their 'GOOD' name disappear in the thin air..
some of them wants to win this because of their nature competing attitude..

But...
That's not me..
I'm not that kind of person who loves to compete with friends about everything..
I like to relax in life..
I like to take my own sweet time during my own thing..
I love to balance myself with friends,family and myself...
where there is a time I would like to be alone...
Not even my beloved can ruin that moment..
Its a own space thing...

The good thing about the competition is...
It helps me to learn a lot of the outside world..
The reality world where I was a blind person towards it..
I have no general knowledge..
Nothing about it!
but after doing a lot of crap research etc...
Besides of improving the way I write,grammer etc...
It tells me the truth always hurt in reality..
Nothing is as sweet as we always see in the movies..
Or the glamorous life in those movie/singers etc...

I think sleepless night is fine
just not the stress part..
It sucks..

rocking sk8 party!

2009-08-21T13:35:00.010+08:00

I haven't been into these kind of party since I left my work place
or rather say...
when I started form6...
sounds pathetic?
yeah..
it is so true!
I mean...
Its like I've lost my social life towards form6 even though it is just 2 months?!!!
lolx~

They did this bbq party because the start of ramadan is about to start...
to celebrate the event,
decided to do a bbq party where food is everyone pays RM5 (me not included)
while YSB (rakan muda) sponser spot light for them to sk8 all night long~

I was thrilled and excited the same time course I will finish my monthly test by that time and I can relax and enjoy some cool time with friends I seldom hang out with...
a bunch of malay guys who ONLY a few will bring their awek around to join the crowd~
thank god...
I know a few of them..
at least having some girl company isn't that bad as having a bunch of guys
more than 25??+++
(with two of the aweks there..both same age..)

I though I was going to be late since I got tuition on that day plus the time I reach home,unpacked and bathe and blah3....
By the time I reach is around 7pm...
thank god the party haven't started yet..
lolx~
but I was already there kepo around helping them to light up the atmosphere..

where some sk8 non stop like hell..
some came to steal some food that is already cooked...

while me taking pic of everyone who is about to go crazy!!!!
wow~
it may ended quite early..
finish around 10.30 pm
but it was a blast..
those stupid games I play with them..
the gila candid shoot that I snap with them or rather help them snap..

It was just amazing!
my 1st time having a party with those people..
can give you a big headache..
swto~(=_=")

but 1thing cool is that since the bbq is all about meat and process food...
I brought my own..
that's why I don't have to pay them..
and brought my own..
classic vegi JAGUNG

and some SWEET POTATO

which in the end they also tumpang my food course insufficent of food..
haha XD

Last but not least
not to say..
I even got a LUCKY DRAW!!!

woohoo~
but that also I have to share with someone...
someone that I could not believe myself so that fate play us around...

JAMAL!!!

omg!
I was shocked and speechless...
but It was okay la I guess...
I would rather share it with him than other people that I don't know..
lolx~
hahaha

ENJOY myself a lot..
hard to use words to describe it..
thanks guys!
hope you will do another one soon!

oh yeah~

2009-08-19T18:06:00.001+08:00

YEEPEI!!
just finish my monthly test!
even though I did my best..
possibility of failing it too..
lolx~
but whatever!
next week holiday 1 week!
yeah!
party all night long~

LOST!

2009-08-08T15:20:00.003+08:00

when is the moment when u started to think that you've lost everything?
me?
When times are getting tense..
that's where I think that I've lost everything..
my sense..my touch..even my precious feelings as well..
when every single time I wanted to write something here in this moment..
to translate what has gone through my mind..
but when I touch the keyboard...
BAM!!
it doesn't come out..
like the 'MAGIC IS LOST' within the thin air..
shit...
I've tons of essay to write..
Tons of assignment to finish..
Tons of homework to wrap up...
A writing speech for the competition which is dead due...
YET!!!!
but nothing comes to my mind to finish those things either..
its like I'm lost in the middle of the sea where no one realizes me that I am here!
what happen to my inspiration?
of doing my best?
of doing the most things that I love to do?

its like I've lost my inspiration..my motivation..my aim for life to live with it
and sadly to say...
I've fail to stick with it..
I wonder what happen to my brain right now?
it can't function as well as usual..
where I can't remember even the slightest thing..
oh no...

I pray to god that this doesn't last long where I need to find back the 'ME' again...
om...
like a little boy lost in mind of wonder...
couldn't think nor react..

stress?bring it on!

2009-08-03T11:03:00.002+08:00

What do they see in me till giving me a higher post rank seems a natural thing for me to do?

Doing public speaking and the competition is end of this month?
wtf? you serious ar?

Giving me odd job that seems undone yet exam is coming due 2 weeks time?OMG!!!!

Out of cash when the month hasn't begun...walao!

where is the hope till live where everything is stressing me out in the school which gives u too much of stress in studying and too much of work in some club thing and also too much of extroverted will bring me into this weird public speaking that I haven't took part since primary school?
haiz~
life is sometimes unpredictable or rather predictable in a way that it is a f***ing drama...